


States of Dysphoria

by PompandPigeontry



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Gen, I'll go with yes to be safe, Is it major character death if it can be retconned?, Retelling of Undertale, have fun suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9996386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PompandPigeontry/pseuds/PompandPigeontry
Summary: You part your eyelids and take in the world around you....aren't you forgetting something?The world of monsters is dangerous enough to traverse without the added burden of a human soul. After centuries of the beasts' restless imprisonment, and your death being the one obstacle in the way of their freedom, there's no chance of you escaping without feeling the life drain from your broken frame over and over again.It's only a matter of time before your well of determination runs dry.You can't run forever, wretched child.





	1. Wake

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, here we go
> 
> Pidge here! Nice to meet'cha! As a brief bit of explanation, this work was originally a little writing exercise of mine that I intended to keep stowed away in my documents for an eternity. One of my good friends (you know who you are!) encouraged me to post it here, as lord knows that the Swapfell AU needs more love and as much development as it can get. Not sure how far I'll get through this story, but I'll keep chugging away and we'll see. If anyone reading has some advice or criticism, feel free to post it here or [message me on my tumblr.](https://pompandpigeontry.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enjoy!

...  
...  
...  
... _water?_  
...  
... _No._

_Blood._

...  
...  
...

A void of darkness consumes your mind, and at first, seems to consume your senses as well. 

Silence reigns. Black extends on forever. The area is bereft of scent, and with it, any and all taste.

You slowly gain control of your fingers. A tendril of feeling creeps through your arm, your wrist, your hand. 

And with it, _pain._

Concentrated, searing _pain._

It is the pain that draws your awareness back into your body and into reality. Suddenly, there is light and sound and scent and taste. All of your senses kick into overdrive as the stimulation of your surroundings hits you like a truck. Your eyes are assaulted by a barrage of gold and green, and _gold and green,_ on and on forever. Your ears are pummeled by ceaseless rustling, from everywhere; rustling should never be this loud; why is it so loud; god, why won't it _stop?_ A sickeningly sweet smell rises from the earth like an overflowing river, threatening to pull you under and claim you for eternity, and the accompanying taste only acts as an anchor to pull you beneath the waves. And the feeling of pain... oh god, the pain.

Your right arm is ablaze in an inferno of blistering hurt. 

An inferno...? Well...

No, that's not quite right. An inferno wouldn't be so obviously _wet._ Your arm is coated in some sort of sticky liquid that certainly isn't water...

You gain enough control over your eyes to drag your gaze from the cacophony of color down to your arm. Immediately, you wish you hadn't.

Holy _shit._

Your arm is bent backwards at a bizarre angle, and _something..._ something painted red, masking its true pale white color juts its razor sharp splinters through your mangled flesh. _That's... that's bo-_ your thoughts come to a screeching halt as the horrific realization hits you. No. Dear god, no. Somehow, you can't quite complete your internal monologue without feeling the need to retch.

In all actuality, what need is there to continue that train of thought at all? What need is there to continue _any_ thinking at all? 

Your subconscious mind seems to agree with your conscious sentiments as you are once again consumed by the endless black void.

\------------

_*let's try this again._

_*are you ready?_

"Ugh..."

You part your eyelids and take in the world around you. 

At the moment, however, the entirety of the world appears to a patch of buttercups rising up from stubbly green grass. The sea of six-petaled golden blossoms easily consumes the whole of your vision from your position on the ground. They feel nearly as soft as a pillow against your aching back.

...Aren't you forgetting something?

The sudden feeling of wariness that overcomes you shakes you out of your drowsy state. A sickening _pop_ meets your ears as you wrench your neck upward to have a better look at the rest of your body.

Your feet, and by extension, shoes appear to both be intact, as do your legs and somewhat worn out brown pants. Your sweater looks a bit worse for the wear, and your hands are scratched up, and your arms... _what the hell?_ Your left sleeve has been torn clean off, and there is some sort of white, er, _paper maché_? No, no, it looks not _fluffy_ exactly, but somewhat like coarse... _hair_? You raise your stiff right arm and bring your hand cautiously to the _thing_ wrapped around your left forearm. 

You are greeted quite exuberantly by a sharp jolt of pain.

"Mother- _khh!"_ Your body spasms into a coughing fit as you attempt to use your sore, scratchy voice.

Somehow, your coughing stops in its tracks and your entire body freezes mid-convulsion as an alien voice meets your ears.

"O-oh _boy,_ we've got ourselves a real piece of work here." It's incredibly high pitched and nasally, and is forced into the oddest intonation that can only be described as a yip. From the voice alone, it's impossible to tell if the speaker is male or female. Your eyes jolt around in your sockets as you try in vain to locate the source of the speech. Fortunately, the other presence seems to grow bored of your search and _jumps onto your chest._

_What. The fuck. Is that._

The small _creature, monster, demon,_ whatever it is, looks somewhat like a dog covered in patchy white fur. In fact, you would have simply called it a dog if not for the ragged yellow and blue striped sweater it wears, full head of greying human hair, two sets of ears (one pointed and one floppy), and the horrific, beady little eyes that stare emotionlessly into your own. You open your mouth to scream but have it calmly covered by one of the creature's front paws.

It saves you from further ripping up your voice, at least. The creature seems intent on keeping quiet as it lowers its voice to a whisper and brings its snout to your ear.

_"Tsk._ If you want me to leave you to die, keep on screaming up a storm. If I were you, _pal,_ I'd keep a lid on it and accept the small mercies offered to me." _That_ shut you up. "Get up, and don't even think about using that broken arm. The amount of spit I had to use to get that fur to stick was ridiculous. I refuse to patch it up again."

The creature leaps unexpectedly gracefully from your chest, leaving you to try and get your feet under you as you gawk in horror and morbid curiosity at the makeshift cast clinging dryly to your arm. You let your gaze wander back to the creature and its patchy coat. _Had it ripped out its-_ the aforementioned "it" seemingly reads your mind and interrupts your thoughts with a haughty scoff. 

"I _shed,_ you dingus. Two good groomings and I've got more than enough fur to fully cover your injury." _Oh._ With that, you straighten your legs and hold out your good arm to steady your quaking body and weakened knees.

The view from several feet higher is entirely different from the view below. The golden expanse of buttercups is but a tiny circle, six feet in diameter at most. Your gaze shifts. Beyond the ring of flowers, the light grows dim, and only by squinting can you make out a sheer rock wall in the distance. Wait… wall? Slowly, you allow yourself to look up.

And up.

And _up._

You only cease your surveying of the surrounding area once you discover the newly discerned cavern’s light source: a single, tiny hole in its stalactite-covered ceiling. Had you fallen _through_ that? How were you even alive right now?

“Hey! Bucko! Get a move on!” You start, jolted out of your thoughts, and glance back at the source of the stern bark. The canine appears much... _smaller_ from above than at eye level. The top of its head barely meets your knee. Its gaze catches your own and it jerks its snout toward a tunnel branching off from the grotto. Even without words, the creature is anything but subtle about telling you what it wants. Speaking of the ‘creature…’

You open your mouth to speak as you take your first shaky step forward, though are interrupted by another coughing fit as you force air past your vocal cords. A scowl winds its way across your face. Trying to work with your limited forms of communication, you simply point at the “dog” and then shrug your shoulders. _Aggressively._

As you continue toward the creature now lurking in the shadowy depths of the increasingly narrow tunnel, you swear that you can see a stray hint of dim light refract off of dagger like teeth as the creature lets out a soft, wheezy laugh. “Not even two days without water can keep you from getting your point across! Determined little human, aren’tcha?” It shuts its snout for a moment, taunting you with its silence. 

It laughs again.

“Heh, I’ll grace you with an answer, buddy. In fact, allow me to introduce myself!” The creature weaves its way around your legs as it leads you into another large chamber. Surprisingly enough, despite no light being visible from the small gap in the previous cavern’s ceiling, you can quite easily make out the canine in front of you. “Howdy!” It trots gleefully toward a small ring of strange, green glowing moss ( _oh._ ) before continuing in a sickeningly saccharine tone.“I’m Temmie! Temmie the tem!” _...the tem?_ “Though humans generally know us creatures of the Underground as monsters.” The “tem’s” tail wags back and forth tentatively as it watches the reality of the situation slowly creep through your mind.

Meanwhile, you attempt to shake yourself out of whatever horrific fever dream you’ve fallen into. Hah. _Monsters._ They.. they don’t exist, right? You’re just sleeping. _Which is why your broken arm hurts so badly._ Just sleeping. _Which is why every tiny stirring of air tickles your skin and sends shivers down your spine._ Just. Sleeping. _Which is why the frigid surroundings chill you down to your very bones._ Sleeping. Sleeping. Sleeping. _But why does it feel like I’m awake?_

...“Heh.” A single, humorless chortle escapes your lips, and echoes off the stone walls of the chamber. With that, you resign to stop thinking about the current state of your consciousness.

“Human.” The tem lowers its voice to a softer tone and meets your gaze with its normally glassy eyes full of… _sympathy?_ “Come, there is a place not far from here with water for you to drink. Keep close.” With its tail gently drifting from side to side, it steps forth from the luminescent circle and swivels its ears back to monitor your footsteps. It begins a slow trot toward two barely visible mauve columns in the distance. You follow behind, letting your stiff legs carry you toward the darkened maw that the pillars so steadfastly frame. As Temmie disappears into the shadows, you feel your gait instinctively hasten in an effort to catch up.

The last thing you want to be is completely alone in this terrifying black expanse.

Luckily for you, the chamber beyond is a little less black, and a little less alone. As you pass through the gateway, you feel Temmie rub its coarsely-furred head reassuringly against your leg as you are greeted by a sight you previously would have thought impossible in the depths below the surface of the earth: a vast, carved stone wall, obviously the ruined entrance to the settlement of some civilization lost to time, overgrown with twisted ivy climbing its way to the ceiling of the cavern.

And in the middle of the chamber, lighting up the ruin like a fragment of the sun itself, is a tiny, brilliant star. It calls to you without a sound, urging you to lose yourself in its blinding light. Without a second thought, your feet spring into action below you and you find yourself abandoning your companion in pursuit of its celestial beauty. 

Your aches are forgotten. The stiffness is ripped from your body. Your good arm flies out in front of you, and plunges into the core of the sphere.

...

Immediately, you are filled with a sense of calm. For an instant, time has slowed to a halt and allowed you a moment of serenity. 

You inhale.

Your entire being exists in suspension; there is no feeling, no soreness, no essence, no physical form.

You exhale.

The pain comes crashing back into your arm and your consciousness back into the present.

The light still remains before you, but you no longer feel the need to cling to it like a lifeline. You feel whole again, but with something more, something filling a void inside of you that you never knew existed before now.

You are filled with… 

It takes you several seconds to conjure up a word for the sensation, but as soon as it flickers into your mind, it rings true.

_...determination._


	2. The First Halls

“...kid?”

“...”

“...human? Human! Up and at ‘em!”

You blink your eyes open once more to find yourself standing amongst the cracked stone slabs leading up to the gate of the ruins. A familiar glowing ball of light floats lazily before your eyes, and a familiar voice yips at you from your heels. It’s difficult to pay attention to either of them with the multitude of questions wreaking havoc on the gears in your brain. _Maybe… maybe Temmie knows the answers?_ God, life is a whole lot less humiliating when you can talk. You frantically wave your hands at the ball of light and raise an eyebrow at the Tem.

The canine lets out a huff of amusement at your display. “C’mon. Follow me closely, and we’ll get some water in you.” It turns tail and bounds toward the collapsed gate of the ruins, leaving you dissatisfied in your confusion. _Why are answers so hard to come by around here?_ Shaking your head and sparing one last look at the single shining beacon of hope you’ve seen in these dreadful caves, you carefully pick your way toward the tem sitting smugly just inside the gate. 

It’s more difficult than you’d expect. While the stairs leading up to the gate appear to be in a bearable state, they end at a platform entirely bestrewn with pointed, rocky rubble. Several pieces look sharp enough to pierce the soles of your shoes. It’s hard to believe that no one has thought to clear the path yet… You spare a glance at Temmie, who is currently grooming the entirely intact pads of its feet. The creature must notice your stares; a self-satisfied grin crosses its muzzle and it wiggles its toes contentedly. You scowl and look back at the rubble.

After a few moments of careful study, you notice that some of the stone is charred black, as though some great fire had raged through the ruins and blown out the gate. That… can’t be right, however. You’re in a cave system. Aside from the circle of buttercups and few delicate wisps of ivy, there’s not enough that is flammable down here to sustain a fire of such magnificent size.

It’s best to let it drop. What’s one more question when a hundred have already comfortably nestled into your mind?

You shift your thoughts back to the task at hand. Some way or another, Temmie had hobbled across the stones without a scratch. You let your knees fold under you, and cautiously extend your hand toward the sharp stones.

Huh.

Surprisingly, the stones are… dull? They scrape against the ground noisily as you drag your fingers through them. Were you incorrect? Was the whole setup meant to ward away ne’er-do-wells rather than actually _hurt_ anyone? A quick flick of your finger through a different patch of rocks proves that hypothesis entirely incorrect. Goddamn. It’s all you can do to hold back a pained screech as the soft pad of your index finger is sliced open like butter. You jerk your arm back toward your hunched form and bring your bleeding finger to your lips. It stings.

A strained voice calls to you from across the sea of crumbled rocks. “Human, move it!” You briefly look up to see Temmie fidgeting, the smug grin wiped clean from its face. That was… _disconcerting._

Well, do or die time. Hastily, though without even the barest hint of confidence, you spring to your feet and place your left shoe onto the gravel-like stones that failed to pierce your flesh. Your right foot joins it a moment later. You looked at Temmie, then back at the ground. _What separated patches of dull stone from patches of lethally sharp stone?_ In a moment of nervousness, you grind the toe of your shoe into the stones beneath it.

The chalky white powder of ground rock drifts into the air.

Chalky… _white…_ oh. OH.

_...some of the stone is charred black, as though some great fire had raged through the ruins and blown out the gate…_

You scan the rocks one last time. Of _course!_ The sharp, black rocks wouldn’t have been moved by those who knew the safe trail. 

You take a step forward, onto the nearest patch of white-tinted rock.

And the safe rocks would have been utilized multiple times, wearing down their charred exteriors.

_Step..._

_Step…_

With three more long strides, your foot falls next to the tem. 

The small swell of satisfaction that wells up inside of you upon stepping through the decimated gate to the ruin dies as Temmie scampers away from you without a word, leading the way into a darkened hall lit only by the flickering of two glowing torches on the far wall. As your eyes struggle to adjust, no longer aided by the radiance of the tiny star, you can just barely make out Temmie bounding toward several raised panels on the floor. A faint _click_ meets your ears as the tem’s forepaw pushes one of the panels level to the rest of the tiles around it. 

Before your eyes, Temmie performs a precise sort of jig, ragged fur and even rattier sweater blurring into white and pink and yellow and blue as the canine dashes from one tile to the next, applying pressure to several panels and very deliberately avoiding others. _Click, click… Click!_ And with one final pawstep, the tem freezes in place.

And then begins to quiver rapidly from side to side.

 _Wait, that’s not quite right-_ your thoughts are halted as you begin to shake as well.

It is then that you realize that neither you nor Temmie is actually shivering, rather the room itself is being assaulted by violent tremors. The notion is only solidified by the rumbling that pummels at your ears. Your hands fly to the sides of your head in an attempt to quell the dizziness and sudden ringing in your mind. You feel your eyelids flutter closed, though manage to peel them apart in order to lock gazes with Temmie, searching desperately for any sign of a hint or command as to what you should be doing.

The poor, disheveled mongrel looks at a complete loss. Its snout is moving, curled up in a frustrated snarl, trying to form words, and its beady eyes dart around in their sockets.

Just as the thought _I’m going to die here_ crosses your mind, the tremors come to a sudden halt.

Silence.

The wait for something, _anything_ to happen, is unbearable. Temmie is staring at a wall, but your own eyes are drawn to the floor, waiting for an unholy chasm following the quake to split the ruins in two and swallow you whole. When nothing occurs immediately, however, you follow the tem’s anxious gaze. It’s an aggravating five seconds of trying to figure out what Temmie is looking at, but soon enough, a movement catches your eye. A section of the far wall, in between the two torches, begins sinking jauntily into the ground; the hidden mechanisms guiding the stones voicing their obvious disuse and contempt for their task with a horrendous metallic screech. What an… _interesting…_ way of locking a door. Was a traditional key just too simple? You shake your head and set to following the tem through the newly formed gap in the wall.

Once again, you are amazed by the unexpected majesty of the sight before you. You’ve been led into a hall lined with softly glowing sconces lighting up purple-tinted bricks, and crawling with delicate ivy. In the faded light, you can discern some sort of wooden walkway slicing the hall right down the middle. _Why would they need-?_ Oh! By the way that the sconces on the walls reflect off of the floor, you can tell that the walkway is, in fact, a bridge serving to pass over some type of liquid.

Then it hits you.

This is what Temmie was talking about. There’s water down here. Actual, drinkable, thirst quenching water. The mere scent of the stuff _(water has never smelled so **strong** )_ is a siren’s song to your parched throat and weakened body.

“Human.” You twitch at the sound of Temmie’s voice. “Drink quickly, I don’t know how much time we have before-” The canine doesn’t even finish its thought before you’ve fallen to your knees, clumsily trying to cup water in your single good hand. In your thirst, the tablespoon of water that settles in your palm tastes like the nectar of the gods passing over your chapped lips and onto your dry tongue. The back of your mind vaguely registers that Temmie is still speaking. The tone seems agitated and full of unease, but simple words can’t permeate the fog of your sudden euphoria. 

And what a euphoria it is. In your bliss, there is nothing in the entire world besides you and the water. After you feel the first drops upon your tongue, you have no way of preventing yourself from lunging toward the lazily drifting underground stream and plunging your head beneath its cool waves, letting it wash the dust and grime from your face. Your lips fall open and water floods in, soothing the achy dryness of your mouth and throat like ointment on a burn. 

When you finally come up for air, you’re gasping desperately. That’s what it felt like to go without water for two _days?_ You wouldn’t have doubted it if you were told that you’d lacked water for two _weeks._

Just as you prepare to throw yourself into the stream again, Temmie’s voice pierces your haze in a needling whisper that seems startlingly far away.

“Human. _Run.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to message me on [my tumblr](https://pompandpigeontry.tumblr.com)! I'm always interested in hearing thoughts on what I can improve in my writing, or any thoughts you might have on the story. Thanks for reading!


End file.
